I am an empty nester. Mom is in the US while my son lives near his school in a different city.
When we all lived together, it would be challenging at times. I’m sure the same is true for women who live with an extended family, especially where there are other women—from different generations—with their own, strong personalities.
So how do we navigate this?
For my second column for Women’s Month, let’s explore the unique considerations for creating spaces that cater to mothers, daughters, and grandmothers; spaces that foster a sense of togetherness while respecting individual needs and preferences.
This, I realize now, was the part of living together that my family and I overlooked. If you are currently in this living situation, I hope today’s column helps you.
Today, families are often blended, with adult children returning home, aging parents moving in, or even multiple generations living together under one roof.
This shift in family dynamics demands a new approach to home design: one that prioritizes inclusivity, accessibility, and a sense of community.
Space planning for shared living
Creating a comfortable living environment for multiple generations requires careful space planning.
Some key considerations
• Dedicated private spaces: Each generation should have their own dedicated space, whether it’s a bedroom, a home office, or a cozy nook for reading or relaxation.
This promotes a sense of privacy and autonomy, essential for maintaining individual well-being.
• Shared living areas: Designate common areas for shared activities, such as a spacious living room, a well-equipped kitchen, or a dining area that can accommodate everyone comfortably.
These spaces foster a sense of togetherness and create opportunities for shared meals, conversations, and family gatherings.
• Multi-purpose rooms: Consider creating multi-purpose rooms that can adapt to different needs.
A guest room could double as a home office, a playroom could transform into a craft room or a basement could be converted into a multi-generational living space.
Consider accessibility
As family members age, it’s crucial to consider accessibility features that make the home comfortable and safe for everyone.
Make sure your place has
• Universal design: Incorporate universal design principles, such as wider doorways, non-slip flooring, and grab bars in bathrooms, to create a space that accommodates everyone, regardless of their physical abilities
• Adaptive features: Consider adding features like adjustable countertops, walk-in showers, and ramps to make the home more accessible for individuals with mobility challenges
• Technology integration: Smart home technology can play a significant role in enhancing accessibility.
Automated lighting, voice-controlled appliances, and remote monitoring systems can make life easier for everyone, especially for older adults or individuals with disabilities.
A sense of togetherness
While respecting individual needs is crucial, it’s equally important to foster a sense of togetherness and community within a multi-generational home.
Here’s what to do or implement
• Shared activities: Designate spaces for shared activities, such as a family room for watching movies or a game room for playing games together.
This encourages interaction and strengthens family bonds.
• Open floor plans: Consider open floor plans that connect living areas, allowing for easy interaction and visual flow.
This creates a sense of openness and promotes a feeling of togetherness.
• Shared kitchen and dining spaces: The kitchen and dining area are often the heart of the home, so design these spaces to be welcoming and functional for everyone.
Consider a large kitchen island that can double as a gathering spot or a dining table that can accommodate a large family.
Beyond the physical space
Women in multi-generational households can adopt several strategies to navigate the challenges of shared living, such as:
Communication and understanding
• Open dialogue: Regularly communicate needs, preferences, and concerns. This can help prevent misunderstandings and foster a sense of mutual respect.
• Active listening: Pay attention to each other’s perspectives and try to understand the challenges faced by different generations.
• Family meetings: Hold regular family meetings to discuss household matters, share updates, and address any concerns.
• Clear expectations: Establish clear expectations about household chores, responsibilities, and shared spaces.
Respecting boundaries and independence
• Personal time: Schedule regular time for individual activities, hobbies, or simply quiet time. This can help maintain a sense of independence and prevent feelings of being overwhelmed.
• Respecting privacy: Knock before entering someone’s room, especially if they are not expecting a visit.
• Personal space: Allow each person to personalize their space with their preferred decor and belongings.
• Shared responsibilities: Divide household tasks fairly based on each person’s abilities and time constraints.
Building a sense of community
• Shared meals: Make time for regular family meals together. This creates opportunities for connection and conversation.
• Family traditions: Maintain or create family traditions that bring generations together.
• Intergenerational activities: Engage in activities that appeal to all generations, such as board games, movie nights, or volunteering.
• Shared interests: Find common interests that can be enjoyed together, like gardening, cooking, or reading.
Whether you live alone, with another person, or with a group of people, you will always need to be flexible so you may go through life with less stress. Embrace reality and flip the narrative—whenever you see or feel something negative, consciously decide to change it into a positive.
Easier said than done, but doable.
Embrace the diversity of perspectives and experiences that come with living together. When you feel an argument about to begin, pause, and decide whether it is worth it to allow conflict to ensue.
There are things worth fighting for, yes, but not all are worth sacrificing peace within the family and within you.
Living together in a multi-generational household can be a beautiful experience, but not without challenges. It is not impossible, though, to create a harmonious and fulfilling living environment for everyone.
A home that not only accommodates multiple generations but also fosters a sense of community, respect, and shared purpose is one we all hope for.
The love to share, support to give one another, and memories to make outweigh the challenges.
